Going to Germany
“I love how a plan comes together” are not words you get to use often, especially when you serve in the military. And I definitely did not use those words when I found myself getting NON-VOLUNTEER orders to Germany. Never in a million years would I have guessed that one short year into my 4 year assignment and marriage for that matter, that I would be thousands of miles from home. It’s actually quite comical looking back on that day.
I was in shock
I’m going to date myself in telling this story, but “back in the day” you didn’t turn on your computer and look in your email for a notification that you had received orders. No ma’am/sir. You were notified by your leadership and they actually walked up to you and handed you a piece of paper called a Report on Individual Personnel (RIP) and no matter where you were going they were high energy and excited for you. So you can imagine my little 20 yr old face when I am told I will be packing up and moving to a foreign country with my new husband in about 6 months.
Wait, WHAT!?
I told you, pure comedy. I burst into tears and immediately wanted to turn down the orders (as a first term Airmen you are allowed to do that). But a little later my Superintendent came and talked to me. I don’t remember his name, but he was a tall, slender, African American man and was giving “uncle vibes” and I felt like I could trust him.
He said “I really want you to reconsider and go to Germany. When you get over there and LOVE it, I want you to email me and let me know how much you are enjoying it.” I was skeptical but I took his advice. Not to mention that one of my friends had turned down her first overseas assignment to Germany and six months later she had another overseas assignment to Alaska this time, but she was not able to turn them down. I did not want this to happen to me so I extended my enlistment for 1 year and we were off to Germany! His words changed my life.
Culture shock
We arrived in Germany in the month of October. It was cold, wet and dreary. Now I was really asking “what did I get myself into?”
Brandon and I learned quickly that you do not let the rain/drizzle stop you. You pack up an umbrella and you get out there and explore! The first order of business was to find somewhere to live. We went to the housing office and found out that the Overseas Housing Allowance (OHA) was decent enough to get us a nice size apartment in a town right next to the base, in Ramstein Village. Lots of military/Americans lived there so it was actually a pretty cool experience.
Excitement
Being 20 years old in Germany was awesome! Unlike being turned away from the casino in New Orleans right before we left for Germany, we were of legal age for EVERYTHING. In Germany, the legal drinking age is 18 and at age 16 you can purchase cigarettes. Talk about culture shock!
I’ll admit, we went a little crazy and had some pretty epic parties at our house and made a lot of great friends. We were known for having good food and a fully stocked bar (thanks to the cheap liquor on base) LOL.
After a while that got old (and expensive) and plus we had found a church to go to so we ended up slowing way down on our partying.
We had issues with our landlord not wanting to fix the furnace in our apartment so we moved from Ramstein Village to Hochspeyer, around 20 minutes from base. This experience was cool because there were fewer Americans and we learned more about the culture.
Brandon also changed jobs and went from working at the School Age Program (before and after school care) to working at the meat plant which was located in the Commissary on Ramstein AB. We found ourselves in a different circle of friends and a lot changed in a short amount of time.
Depression
I didn’t realize it until much later, but I believe I was suffering from depression and anxiety but was high functioning despite how I truly felt. I’m sure the lack of sunshine didn’t help. There is actually research that shows your mood can be affected by the lack of sunlight and there were definitely a lot of dark days when we arrived late that fall.
I attempted to go to Mental Health on base to see a Therapist and after two meetings she determined that I seemed “fine” and that I did not need to be seen anymore.
I won’t lie, I do feel like they failed me but I also want to point out that I was really good at hiding my pain, emotions, and childhood trauma that I never healed from.
Looking back, I don’t know how I did it. Many of us join the military at a young age and we are still figuring out ourselves and life. We’re expected to handle so much and yet many of us don’t have the tools to do so successfully. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves and we feel like we are the only ones going through our particular issue, but I am here to tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I often wonder how many others felt this way but didn’t know how to talk about it or who to talk about it to? I’m sure many of my friends reading this article will think “she looked fine to me and was always smiling” but I think one of my superpowers is “looking fine”.
Trouble Don’t Last Always!
I do not want to leave you with the impression that we didn’t thoroughly enjoy Germany, because it was awesome in soooo many ways!
We visited Paris only a fews months into our assignment, we went all over Germany exploring castles and shopping with the extra money you get being overseas (oh how I miss COLA (Cost of living allowance)! Brandon and I made amazing friends who we consider family and visit us to this day! We grew tighter as a couple despite some really tough times.
What I learned
Sometimes you have to trust that everything will work out and that getting out of your comfort zone and the surroundings you’re used to. It will open your mind and broaden your life in ways you could not have dreamed of. Afterall, had I not taken those orders, I probably would have gotten out after my 4 year tour like I originally planned. “I love how my plan didn’t come together”.
Until next time, Cultivate excellence in your life everyday!
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